Life is crazy...

There's really no other way of saying it.

I have this weird conundrum between loving college and hating college all at the same time.  This week was pretty bad...for a combination of reasons, yet at the same time it was good.  I can't explain it.

The fact that my Spring Break wasn't a "break" really caught up to me this week.  Granted, I had a good week on tour (not the best of my life by any means...but a good one nonetheless) but it really was exhausting.  Coming back to school two Sunday evenings ago was so exciting because I was getting back "home" to a place and people that I love, yet in the back of my head was the knowledge that the very next morning I would have to wake up for my 8 am history class and start the rigors of classes all over again.  

Basically every moment of this week until tonight I have had either classes, meetings, work, or homework consuming every single minute from when I woke up until when I went to bed.  Tuesday night, as I was studying for a test, I just broke down.  I was tired emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and whatever other possible way there is.  All it took for me to crack was a facebook message from my mom asking me how I was and letting me know she was praying for me and my studies.  Needless to say...I promptly called her in tears...  I've had friends tell me I just need to be able to say "no" to things.  But that's not the issue this time.  I can't say no to anything I'm involved in.  SGA, Chorale, harp lessons, my job, and classes are all things that I have to do (either by committment or requirement).  So my only real option is just to tough it out until the end of the semester, doing the best I can with the time that I'm given.  It's gotten to the point where I'm having to schedule in time to spend with God, 'cause it's just not happening consistently otherwise.

Maybe I'm feeling like I can't ever feel one complete emotion.  Every really good moment still has at least something a little bad in the background, and vice versa with the bad moments.

Maybe I feel like I don't have much control over my time or priorities.  

I'll just keep learning to deal with it I guess.  What else can I really do?

-erika

• The week after Spring Break is almost over.  Time flies...
• I have a rediscovered musical crush on Zuill Bailey.  Amazing cellist...
• I had a phone call that could have gone really bad...but it actually went good.  Grace abounds...
• I'm sitting in the hallway studying for a beast of a Fine Arts test.  What fun...
• This is just a study break, and now I have to keep going.  lol

(this was random...I know)

So I feel a little bit bad.  It's midterms week...but I don't have any.  So while my friends are stressing out and taking lots of tests and writing papers, I'm sitting around and drinking unnessarily large amounts of coffee for no reason.  My really hard week was two weeks ago, so I'm sitting fine until after Spring Break.

Chorale tour starts Friday!  I still have a lot to do to get ready for that, mostly a big Wal-Mart trip.  It should be a good tour though.  If any of you live in GA, SC, or NC let me know and I'll send you our itinerary.  My parents are coming to at least one of my concerts..and hopefully a few of my friends also!

I'm struggling with church.  Mainly because I don't have one.  And I might be about to not have one at home either.  I realized this when I was filling out my Royal Servants application and it was asking for church information...and I had a really hard time knowing which names to put down for what church I belong to.  I feel like a bit of an orphan...but I don't know how to fix the problem.  I haven't found a church close in Dayton that I really like, and I don't know if I can really drive somewhere far every week unless I had either a ride or other people with me.  Grrr...  So just be praying for this situation right now.

My intermural basketball team is playing in the championship game tonight.  I just think that's hilarious.  We were like the little reject team that is comprised of people that we all supposed to be member's of other teams that got too big.  So we're gonna play hard tonight (even if we're all feeling a bit intimidated)!  

I really should post something about how incredibly and amazinly fun my last weekend was.  A CRU formal, a Bryan Banquet, and a Chorale concert...all in consequtive days of each other.  I'll try and put up a few pictures later, but if not there are a ton on facebook.

I'm off to work!  byeee!

-erika